Jashin's Angels: A Hidan x Perona x Konan Tale
by ZeenoDaAlien
Summary: One fine day Hidan of the Akatsuki is happily murdering innocent people when his lover Konan, also of the Akatsuki, finds him and shows her own unique form of love on him. When all the sudden a pink haired girl falls from the sky and ends up joining in on the fun. Very sexual guys. Very.
1. This Sadistic Game We Play

**Chapter 1: This Sadistic Game We Play**

"Praise Jashin for this day, for on this day we slaughter! HAHAHA!" And with his prayer done, Hidan proceeded to slash his way through the small village killing anything that moved. Killing was his passion, killing was his joy. Killing was his religion. Literally, as a worshipper of Jashin, Hidan has gained immortality and he returns this favor by murdering every day and following the violent teachings of Jashin. After killing the last of the villagers Hidan fell back and relaxed on a pile of corpses. "Aaahh, now that was a great slaughter." "Just as messy as ever huh Hidan-kun?" He knew this voice; Hidan looked over to see the blue-haired beauty that was Konan, a fellow member of the Akatsuki and Hidan's secret lover. "What's the matter Konan? Get lost on your way back to The Bossman? HehHehHeh." Konan walked forward towards him. "Actually, I was sent to find you. Seems you ditched Kakuzu." Hidan got up from his makeshift chair and leaned on his scythe. "Aww, is the bag of stiches missing me already? Poor thing." Konan stopped just short of him and looked him up and down thinking to herself. Hmph, covered in blood again. He never learns. "Actually, he says he's never been happier in his life." Hidan scoffed. "Jerk." Hidan walked up to Konan and grabbed her by the waist. "So, we fuckin' or what?" Konan gave him a blank look, but then smiled. "Just like a child, spoiled." She used her paper jutsu to slice off his Akatsuki cloak. "Look at you Hidan-Kun, covered in the blood of innocents. Such an unruly man." Hidan bites her bottom lip and licks her piercing. "Maybe I should be punish for being so unkept." Hidan backs away with a devilish grin. "Hmmm, yes. That seems appropriate. I trust you remember my usual punishment?" "Oh but of course. How could I forget?" He stood upright, tilted his head back and outstretched his arms. "I'm ready! Bring it on!" Konan stepped back and summoned a spear of paper. "Shikigami Dance." She then impaled Hidan through the chest with the spear, sending him to the ground. She then walked over while taking off her coat and pushed the spear further into him, sticking him into the ground. Hidan opens eyes and looks at her with his evil smile. "Argh! You know just hwo to hurt me babe! Haha!" "Silence." Konan twists the spear in his chest. "Argh! You bitch! AAAgh!" She twists it again. "I said silence you lowly creature." She then walks to and stands over his lower body and removes her shirt as she stares at his obvious erection. "Hmph, getting turned on by being impaled, you truly are a sick beats Hidan-kun." She then leans over and undoes his pants reveling his large member. She then sat on his stomach, placed one hand on the spear and one on his cock. "Now, scream for me beast. Scream in pleasure," She strokes him "and in pain" she twists the spear. "AAAH! SO HORRIBLE! SO GOOD!" Konan repeats this pattern, and then sometimes twists three times, sometimes strokes three times. Then she would do nothing just leaving him between pleasure and pain. She always kept him guessing as to what she would do to him. He loved it; he never met anyone who had such a threshold for dealing torture, and being an immortal, normal sexual activity just wouldn't work for him anymore. He needed things like this, and Konan was always happy to comply. As she began a process of spear twisting, they heard a high pitch screaming in the distance. "Huuh? The hell is that? Did I miss a villager or something?" Konan stood and looked to the sky. "No. This voice is coming from the sky." Then suddenly a girl dressed in strange clothes with bright pink hair came flying from the sky. "Is that a girl? How the fuck is she flying like that? I wanna fly!" "Silence beast." She twists the spear. The girl started getting closer and Konan realized that she wasn't flying but falling, and she was falling straight at them. Konan ducked out of the way leaving Hidan stuck to the ground. "Hey! The fuck? Don't just leave me here you Bii-AAH!" Before he could finish the girl landed with her mouth right on Hidan's dick. "Jashin-dammit that hurt, but her mouth feels nice though. Heh Heh." The girl looked up and realized what was in her mouth. "Aaaaaggghhttthh" She screamed with it still in before popping off and backing away. She looked around seeing all the dead bodies along with a topless Konan and an exposed Hidan impaled to the ground. "W-w-w-w-w-what the hell is going on here! Where am I?! Who are you?!" "Oh would you PLEASE shut up?! Your voice is annoying!" The girl looked around. "Who said that?!" "I did ya dumb bitch!" She stands and lloks down at Hidan realizing that he's still alive. "A-a-AHHHHH! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT! HE'S ALIVE EVN WITH THA-hmmf mmf, mmp." Konan summoned a piece of paper onto the girl's mouth. "You're too loud. Now, I shall remove the paper, but only if you keep it short agree?" The girl shakes her head in agreement. "Good, what is your name?" She loosens the paper gag. "My name is Perona." "And how did you get here Perona?" The girl looked around nervously. "I have no ideeeaa, one minute I was attacking this big guy, the next I'm falling from the sky down to here." Hidan tried moving from his spot on the ground by pulling himself up on the spear. "Ow! Fuck! Ow! Fuck! Ow!" He finally gets off the spear and walks up the Perona. "Hmmm." He stares her down, checking her out. "Heh, you're kinda petite an you dress creepy, but I like that." Hidan gives her a grin. Perona's face starts to flush. "Well um thank you…I guess. Um." She looks down and notices that he's still erect and exposed. "Could you cover yourself already?!" Hidan looked down realizing he was still out. "Hmmm, nah I'm good. Maybe YOU should get more exposed like us! HAHAHA!-Ugh!" Hidan falls to gorund on his hands and knees looking at the ground. Konan looks t him with worry. "Hidan-kun? Are you alright?" He looks up at her with a sad face and looks back the ground. "Alright? Myabe if I died right now and was reborn as an ant who got crushed I'd be alright." Konan steps back in shock "What?!" Perona stands proudly looking down on him. "Take that you perv!" Konan looks at her. "What did you do to him?" "Simple! I used my devil fruit powers to make him negative." Perona kicks Hidan in the side and then a strange looking…ghost comes out her back and into Hidan. "My life is nothing more than gum stuck to the shoe of Significance." Konan's eyebrows rise with surprise. "Wow, that's an impressive power you have there Perona-Chan." Konan walks over and turns Hidan onto his back. "Can you keep doing this? Keep him negative? " Perona summons a few more ghosts. "Of course! Horohorohoro, I can do it all day long if I wanted." "Good, I'm going to fuck him while he's negative and submissive like this, be a nice change from his normal attitude." Konan undoes her pants and inserts Hidan into herself. "WHOA WAIT! DON'T JUST START DOING SOMETHING LIKE THAT!" Perona turns around in embaressment. "MMM, don't go anywhere Perona-Chan, stay here and keep him nice and-AAH-negative." Perona sits facing a tree playing with her fingers. "O-okay…but only cause I don't know where I am. BUT PLEASE DON'T TAKE TOO LONG!" Perona would wait for two more hours for Konan to finish.

**Chapter 2: An Immortal, An Angel, and A Pirate**


	2. An Immortal, An Angel, and A Pirate

**Chapter 2: An Immortal, An Angel, and A Pirate**

Perona sat facing the tree waiting for Konan to finish, and when she finally did she tapped her on the shoulder. "Good job Perona-Chan, you made him very compliant." Hidan sat up and put his Akatsuki coat back on. "What the fuck was that Konan?" He gets up wand walks over to the two girls. "And you!" He grabs one of Perona's pigtails and pulls her up. "What kind of jutsu were you using on me that made me all negative? Huh?!" Perona pulled her hair free and backed up against the tree. "I don't know what a jutsu is, but what I was doing was my devil fruit power." Hidan and Konan look at each other then back at Perona. Konan spoke up for the both of them. "And what exactly is a Devil Fruit?" Perona tilted her head in confusion, "You guys don't know what Devil Fruits are? Seriously? Hororororo wow what a couple of idiots!" Perona continues to laugh as Hidan's anger starts to grow, then his scythe hits the tree next to Perona's head. "Hororo-eh…" She looks left at the scythe. "EEEEEEHHHHHH!" Hidan leans in closer to her face. "I'm sorry brat, I couldn't hear you, what was that you called us?" With Hidan so close now she noticed how handsome he was, in a psychotic killer kind of way, though that's the way she liked it. She noticed how slicked back and well groomed his hair was, she started to wonder if he used to blood of his enemies to do it. Then she saw the bit of his ear that was missing, she started to think she liked scars. Then she realized she was drooling at bit and Hidan was looking at her with confusion. "Uuuh, hey girl, you okay there?" Perona started babbling non-sense. "IIIII Ya-you Me I They HAIR! Eep!" She clasps her hands on her mouth mostly to hide her red face. "Hidan backed away from her. "Uuuuh-huh, okay then. Hey Konan I think I broke her." Konan pushed him aside and walked up to Perona. She placed a hand on the girl's cheek and looked her in the eye. This Perona girl was cute. Her long pink hair and her small frame gave her a young appearance, yet she had a wonderfully developed bust and womanly figure. Perona felt less nervous when the blue haired beauty touched her face. Konan looked deep into her eyes. Perona's face was suddenly on fire. "Are you okay Perona-Chan?" Perona looked away from Konan's beauty only to see Hidan looking at her with a wicked smile, turning her face even hotter. "I'm yeah. Sure okay. Ya know hororo. AHEM. I'm fine." Konan backed away smiling. "So Perona-Chan, again how did you get here?" Hidan pulled his scythe from the tree and leans on it. "And make it quick I got things to do and people to kill." Perona did her best to recount what happened with the Strawhats on Thriller Bark and the large man who sent her flying. Hidan leaned forward on his scythe. "Huuuuuuuh? Pirates? Ghosts? Zombies? And what the fuck's a Kumashi? Konan this bitch is crazy. Cute. But still crazy." Perona blushed at the cute comment. "Well Hidan-Kun, you are an immortal and Kakuzu has five hearts, I think whatever this girl has to say is pretty plausible. " "mmyeahwhatever." Hidan pull his scythe out of the ground and placed it on his back. "Speaking of the walking string-ball, I should probably get back to him. You know how he worries, plus he's totally lost without me." Hidan turned and started walking off. Konan watched him leave while tapping her bottom lip with her finger. "Hmmm, Hidan-kun, wait a moment." Hidan just kept walking turning his head back. "Huuh? Why? I'm done here and Jashin-Sama still requires more blood!" Just then a spear of paper flies through his chest, stciking him in place. Hidan sighs. "Okay. WHAT?!" Konan walks over with Perona. "Hidan-Kun, you mean to say you would leave this poor girl all alone while you go to play with your friend?" Perona decided to turn around to hide the bright red blushing of her cheeks. "Alone? The fuck you mean alone? You're still here." Konan placed her hand on her head. "Yes, but as you know, Lord Pein doesn't like to be away for long. He needs me to run the village for him." Hidan struggled to get off of the spear. "I'm still trying to see how this relates to me! Ow! Fuck!" Hidan finally got off the spear and rubbed his new wound. "Listen Hidan-Kun, just let Perona-Chan stay with you while I convene with Pein. I'll return to you and take her off your hands." Konan grew paper wings and flew off, clearly done with the discussion. "Awww dammit, now I have to take you with." Perona turned back to him. "Eeeeh? Why?" "WHY?! Because now she's expecting it! And if you're not there, then I may never get any action from her again." Perona tilted her head. "Action? What do you mean action?...MORE IMPORTANTLY HOW ARE YOU EVEN ALIVE RIGHT NOW!?" Hidan put his hand on her mouth. "Seriously, if you keep shouting like that I WILL kill you. And by action I obviously mean what happened not 5 minutes ago." Perona started blushing again. "Heh, and the reason I'm not dead is simple it's because I'm….I'm….." Hidan falls to the ground. "Because I'm lowliest creature known to the universe." Hidan looked up at Perona. "Hey, wait a minute!" "Hororororororo, serves you right you big jerk, don't you put your hands on me." Hidan jumped up and grabbed her by the shoulders picking her up. "Do THAT again and I won't just kill you, I'll tear you to shreds…..Which is what I am, nothing but shreds of former humanity..eh…DAMMIT WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT!" Hororororororo! Like I said, don't touch me and you won't be hit with a ghost." AAAAGGH, why do I always get stuck with the annoying ones?" Hidan starts walking off again. "Well if you don't want to die or get attacked by bandits or something then c'mon!" Perona stood in place until she realized he was seriously going to leave her. "H-hey! Wait!" She chased him down. The two walked together in silence for a few minutes. Hidan finally decided the spark discussion. "Ssssooo, uh, Cabrona." "It's Perona" "Yeah, whatever. Are you…Ya know…Are you a REAL pirate?" At first she though he was mocking her, then she looked up and saw excitement in his eyes. "I uh, yeah I guess. My captain was the great Gekko Moriah-Sama, one of the Shichibukai and future Pirate King!" Hidan looked on at her in amazement. "Wow, Pirate King. THAT SOUNDS AWESOME! That must be the guy who kills the most other pirates right?" Perona was a little put off by his mixture of love for pirates and love for violence. "Well, I guess that's one way to do it. The way to become Pirate King is to find the greatest treasure, the One Piece!" Is…Is there only one piece of treasure?" "Umm, well…No one really knows what it is." Hidan looked up and scratched his chin. "Well when we meet up with Kakuzu don't mention this treasure. That ragdoll would do anything for treasure. The prick." Perona crossed her arms and got an angry expression. "Oh trust me, I know all about idiotic comrades. That lion-faced bastard." So what was it you called that Gecko guy? A Shini…Bukkaki, was it?" Perona's face flared up "N-n-n-n-n-n-no you dolt I said Shichibukai! Shichibukai!" Hidan scratched his head. "Sticky Buttcrack? That doesn't sound like a very impressive of title." 'NO YOU MORON! SHICHIBUKAI! SHI-CHI-BU-KAI! Ya know what just forget it, just call him a Warlord." "WARLORD! NOW THAT'S A TITLE!" *Hidan crossed his arms and put a hand on his chin. "Yeah, yeah. Hidan The Warlord. Yeeeah that's a name I could get used to." "Perona laughed to herself. "Hororo, you know to become a warlord, you have to submit to the World Government." "Whaaaaat? Nevermind, fuck that. I'll take Pein's orders but as much authority as I'll take." "Hororo, hmm a bad boy eh?...Eep!" Perona covered her mouth thinking to herself. Why did I just say such an embarrassing thing to him? "Hidan threw his arm around her shoulders. "Yep, I AM pretty bad if I do say so myself. Hmm? What's wrong with you? You catch a cold or something?" Perona's face was a blazing inferno of blushing. "I-i-i-i- well…" "Shh" Hidan put a finger on her lips. "Looks like we got some company Sharona. " She pushed him off while taking a stance summoning ghosts. "My name's Perona." "Whatever. "


End file.
